In my opinion, porn it is just an extension of our repressed sexual desires within our Judeo-Christian based moral society. From an early age we are taught that sex and being sexual are bad. Porn is a billion dollar a year industry because sex an talking about it are taboo. Yes are a society where the President getting a BJ is more important than his domestic or foreign policy positions. Porn is the sexual outlet that allows many to express what otherwise would not or could not be expressed and the contradiction is that we live in a hyper sexualized culture that doesn’t talk or embrace sex and sexuality. This leads to problems.
This is not the 80′s or early 90′s when most of our porn experience was reading dad’s Playboys or finding your boy’s uncle’s secret stash under the mattress, now the internet is a pipeline to any type of sexual situation that one can imagine. There lies the problem. With readily available porn at ones figure tips, the lack of sexual discussion on a family and societal level can leave on with a faux perception of sex. Meaning that one can develop their sexual identity based not on their own sexual discovery, but on the only foundation of sex/sexuality they have, porn.
Black porn in particular can greatly skew this identity. Girls have a hard enough time dealing with body image and self identity due to mainstream media views, but porn makes it worse. In addition to feeling like she has to be a beautiful as Tyra, she also has to worry that her ass isn’t as fat Pinky’s or that she can’t deepthroat like Vanessa Del Rio. With no 
reinforcement at home she is left to emulate what is to societal norm. Men are not immune from this phenomenon either. Men learn that this is how sex happens, that there is a formula (Kissing + Cunnilingus) X (Fellatio + Penetration)= MONEY SHOT! Or he is left feeling inadequate because he isn’t hung like Mandingo, and that is what she thinks she wants.
With that said, there isn’t a woman alive that doesn’t want her man to blow her back out every now and again, nor an man that doesn’t like it when is woman is gets nasty in the bedroom, yet these should be aspects of one’s sex live and sexuality, not the norm. A healthy sex life should contain all of these things (in my opinion) : intimacy, sex, f@@ckin, & love making. Sex is simply the act of having sex, that is all that it is, and in normal relationships we all know that somethings its just sex. F@@kin is just what it is. You are trying to make the other person remember who the best it. Its simple about releasing that carnal/animalistic part of yourself with someone that you trust. Love making transcends them all. Making love is where you connect on not just physical level, but on a mental and spiritual one as well. Yet none of these would even transpire if intimacy was not first established.
In conclusion, porn is not the sole reason that the black family is being ruined, at least when is comes from a sexual/intimacy standpoint. Failing to address a very natural aspect of human existent by making it taboo, has only allows porn to become stronger and more influential. Only when we stop acting like sex doesn’t exist, will be be able to reclaim our own sexual identities, and healthy, normal, and orgasmic sex lives.
MBM
